I have recently begun the rather painstaking process of looking on the bright side.
Now, those of you who know me, or have read this blog long enough to know a fair amount about me, might gasp a little or think I am joking. I am generally a pretty glass-half-full kind of person...and that is most certainly the glass that I show the world, but in reality, I realized recently that I have been coming up short in the benefit-of-the-doubt department. More specifically, I have been a little light on love.
This year so far has brought a lot of busyness, a little turmoil, a bunch of stress, a heap of challenge, a few quiet victories and some great projects. Along with some really fun and exciting things, which makes it not unlike most other years for me recently. The thing I started to notice lately is that it was getting to me more. I have a shorter fuse, less tolerance for things I am uninterested in or don't have time for. I was saying (or at least thinking) 'no' first. I felt tired and defensive a little, and have even been carrying this lack of love around on my person as about 17 extra pounds. SEVENTEEN.
When I first started meditating on what was going on with me, and realized that it was a lack of a vital nutrient (love...Vitamin L) I assumed that it was because I was not getting enough of it from others. I thought, it was because I was so far away from my family and best girl friends, or because Coach and I have been so so busy in our lives that we didn't spend enough quality time together, or because relationships and friendships change, and that's just life. I felt shorted. I even felt owed.
Then I opened my freezer.
It was a particularly hot week in Boston, and I was obsessed with making ice cream. You may have read something about that. I opened my freezer to get the basin for the ice cream maker and the cold air felt so good. I, by some instinct, blew air into the ice cube tray to feel a cold blast on my face and it hit me. The cold blast, and the realization that you get back what you put in. Not in theory, but in real and direct proportion.
In our lives, like in our freezers there is only so much molecular space. When I blew my warm air into the freezer it had to get rid of some cold air. I realized then that I was short on love because I was not putting it out there. I was not acting with love, or listening with love or even providing it for myself. Essentially, I needed to go blow into some freezers.
This was a nice revelation, but I needed to warm up a bit. I needed to remind myself of my core belief that everything you need, you have. Essentially, you will find it, if you are looking for it. (sort of like trouble...) If I wanted to see the love and be able to activate those molecules, I had to be looking for it. So I began the practice of looking for love.
As you may have suspected, it is in fact, everywhere! I took these photos on my recent vacation as sort of an inside joke with myself. It became kind of like buying a car. You know when you are looking at or researching buying a specific vehicle and suddenly that is ALL you see on the road? It has become kind of like that! Only with love and kindness. I see it everywhere! But, I am looking for it...
So, this is a fresh journey for me. I am still working on it. Seeing love is often easier than acting with it or even more difficult, reacting with it, especially when we are stressed in any way. But it is a good start and a much more pleasant molecular point of view.
Wish me luck!