We are always changing. From a cellular level to an emotional one there is pretty much constant motion. So though it is often not popular or convenient to admit, we are never the same as we were a moment earlier and we are constantly adjusting to ourselves. Many of us get along quite well appearing consistent and steady, some of us are more obviously in flux.
At some point in our evolution as a polite society, it became unpopular to appear to change constantly. To change your mind, change sides, gain weight, get wrinkles, sell everything and move to Tahiti. I guess it doesn’t feel safe to people. We like steady, dependable things. That makes sense. And so, there is a balance. A functional need to be consistent, and the actual fact, that we change. We all work hard everyday to do that dance.
What I am finding to be a bit of a pothole on that road, is forgetting to let myself accept that change. I often catch myself living with some level of discomfort because I feel differently than I am supposed to about something, or my experience is different than I wish it was, or I just plain have not caught up to myself. Then there are the very cellular-change moments that my pants are too tight or I have a new grey hair. I have a hard time accepting that as ‘motion’ too.
It makes me feel disorganized and embarrassed on some level for that disorganization and lack of consistency. So I thought I would take a moment from time to time to record some truths about myself and where I am at right now. To help the understanding that my next set of truths could be very different. And that is still the truth.
Today’s Truths (in no particular order):
1.) I want to do more than I may actually be able to do well.
2.) There is a lot that I don’t know about business.
3.) Lucy is quite possibly the best dog on the planet.
4.) I am currently not being the friend I want to be.
5.) Marriage is really really hard.
6.) Fresh flowers are like drugs for me. They are my quickest way to happy.
7.) Cheese is a close second.
8.) I miss my family. It exhausts me to be far away from them.
9.) I probably need to go up a pants size. (see #7)
10.) I have many many blessings in my life.
11.) I am winging it. There was no master plan here. Pretty much making it up as I go along.
That’s where I’m at today. How about you?