Flowers by God. Bag by Lovell, available at Marmalade
We are always changing. From a cellular level to an emotional one there is pretty much constant motion. So though it is often not popular or convenient to admit, we are never the same as we were a moment earlier and we are constantly adjusting to ourselves. Many of us get along quite well appearing consistent and steady, some of us are more obviously in flux.
At some point in our evolution as a polite society, it became unpopular to appear to change constantly. To change your mind, change sides, gain weight, get wrinkles, sell everything and move to Tahiti. I guess it doesn't feel safe to people. We like steady, dependable things. That makes sense. And so, there is a balance. A functional need to be consistent, and the actual fact, that we change. We all work hard everyday to do that dance.
What I am finding to be a bit of a pothole on that road, is forgetting to let myself accept that change. I often catch myself living with some level of discomfort because I feel differently than I am supposed to about something, or my experience is different than I wish it was, or I just plain have not caught up to myself. Then there are the very cellular-change moments that my pants are too tight or I have a new grey hair. I have a hard time accepting that as 'motion' too.
It makes me feel disorganized and embarrassed on some level for that disorganization and lack of consistency. So I thought I would take a moment from time to time to record some truths about myself and where I am at right now. To help the understanding that my next set of truths could be very different. And that is still the truth.
Today's Truths (in no particular order):
1.) I want to do more than I may actually be able to do well.
2.) There is a lot that I don't know about business.
3.) Lucy is quite possibly the best dog on the planet.
4.) I am currently not being the friend I want to be.
5.) Marriage is really really hard.
6.) Fresh flowers are like drugs for me. They are my quickest way to happy.
7.) Cheese is a close second.
8.) I miss my family. It exhausts me to be far away from them.
9.) I probably need to go up a pants size. (see #7)
10.) I have many many blessings in my life.
11.) I am winging it. There was no master plan here. Pretty much making it up as I go along.
That's where I'm at today. How about you?
xoxo
Thank you for taking the time to share this. I am drinking coffee and anxiously awaiting my shipment of cheesemaking supplies after just placing my order at cheesemaking.com, since I just took a class on making artisan cheeses… so this made me smile. 🙂
Loved this post. Appreciated what you had to say. When I read your list I laughed and agreed with so many. Especially “Marriage is really really hard.” My husband and I are about to celebrate four delightful years! Every single one has been a blessed and sweet one, but it is definitely hard work! Thanks for sharing! Have a great weekend!
oh girl!!! you are juggling a lot of pretty big and heavy balls right now. so many of these resonated to my core! thank you for your honesty. it’s nice to know that i’m not alone.
xoxo-m
I have the distinct pleasure of every aspect of my life currently being in massive change. Yet through this entire process, I’m sitting in the center like a kid in a kaleidescope enjoying the play of pretty around me, laughing, & wondering where it all will land. I’ve found trusting the way will be shown is one of the most peacful places to be in this life. I get it.
I love how you are so willing to share your humaness. That vulnerability is one of the secrets to the success of your work. Cheers.
Thanks so much for sharing. I have been a stealth follower for a while now and have never posted a comment. Love your thoughts, share many of the same, and love your “stuff”. Namaste.
12.) You’re an amazing friend despite #4.
Sending ((hugs)). Thank-you for the reminder that it is okay (and even healthy) to change. At times, I feel like my mind changes every day about so many things. Am I crazy? in flux? falling off my wagon? healthy? All of the above? I am slowly learning to accept that this is the process of living, and to be at peace with the change. Loved this post!
Change has been the mantra here also lately…store where I worked closed…new door open..have started a new business..could not have even imagined this 8 weeks ago. Be well, be kind to yourself…and once again, thank you for being so willing to share.
Thank you so much for this very honest post! It’s so nice to know that someone as successful and creative as you has these feelings too! Change is scary and sometimes overwhelming, but I think it’s exciting too. You never know what adventure is around the corner and the possibilities in life are endless!
I’ve long admired your work and blog, and I love getting to see this very personal side of you. Thank you! ~Jen
Insightful and incredibly true…
I enjoyed your truths…in fact you could have totally been talking about me, except my dogs name is Maddie…! And are cheese and flowers not the best creations ever!!
This is so lovely and so real – thank you for being an authentic blogger (there are too few)! Marriage IS hard, but it gets easier – I think I’m just a few short years ahead of you… xo
Your amazingness and beauty just went off the charts with this post. Thank you for sharing. I’ve learned by welcoming and embracing change life turns out so much better than I could have ever imagined. It seems counterintuitive at the beginning of the change cycle but has over and over been true for me.
I think it takes so much courage to a)look at yourself honestly, and b)share what you find with others…so I just want to honor the awesome authenticity of your post! Thank you for shining YOUR little light on the world!
Sometimes just saying things out loud (or writing them as you have) helps make things seem more manageable. Hang in there and remember to breathe through the changes and hold on to what you know to be true.
A really great post, it obviously has struck a chord with so many. Take heart.
As someone who a) loves structure and stability more than anyone you know and b) knows you very well and loves you very much, I can state with total certainty that you will—as always—make amazing things out of today’s truths. I’m happy to share my father’s cheese souffle recipe should you choose to actively pursue #7. 🙂
love this post and YOU so much, honey!
love the bag, love the truths, love you. All teary eyed love you. Missing my family too, a lot today especially as they are all gathered for my bro in law’s graduation for his MBA and I’m you know… not there but working instead. You already know my love of cheese and what i wouldn’t give to just come on over and hug you right now. xo
A beautiful post that really resonated for me. Thank you for sharing. It’s a lovely reminder that even though we think we can do it all(and often do) we still have to prioritize the things especially want to do well. Thank you.
Not sure how I missed this last week, but so very glad I found it. I was explaining our family’s current level of chaos to my 7-year-old last night and mentioned that lots of things were up in the air. He said “I hope they hit the ground soon so we can just live.” So even children have the fundamental need to avoid change, and yet they are probably the ones changing the most rapidly day to day.
Anyway, thank you for putting that all into words in such a simple, lovely way.
It’s so nice to know people who seem to have it all figured out still feel things like #11. Thanks for reminding me that others fly by the seat of their pants, too.
Change has become our new normal. As a control freak planner I have a hard time with this. But, I realize that God has brought me here to help me change my ways. I think you said it perfectly!
What a great post!
I just wanted to tell you you are my favorite artist- I discovered curlygirl a few years back and it is still my favorite. It is such an inspiration to me- I admire your talent and witty sayings! Keep it up 🙂