So, it's very very early in the morning and I did something I don't usually do. I gave in to the 'awakes' and came downstairs, turned on a light, made a cup of tea and sat down with myself. Usually, I lie there and try and force myself to go back to sleep, knowing full well what a beast I am when I don't get at least 8 hours. That's right, I said “at least”. Also, because I am a rule-follower and I know you are not really supposed to be awake at 3:30 in the morning. Or 4:30 for that matter. Unless you have a job or a baby or a deal with the devil that requires you to do so. I have none of those things, so I fall in line, I get up with the rest of humankind sometime after 6.
None of this is really the point though. The point is that I am stressed out and I need to figure out a few things and apparently, the best time for your brain to figure those things out is before dawn. So I am up, rearranging the cosmos, trying to make as many people happy as possible with one (or let's be honest, an evolving two or three) solution(s). Trying to make something out of something is way harder than making something out of nothing it turns out. I'm making lists, editing, and getting really honest with what I want and what I need and what the people around me want and need.
It's normal to have a deserted-island fantasy right? Is it normal to not want to take anyone but the dog?
When I get to these places, as I sometimes do, I find it helpful to say a few things out loud, count a few blessings and take a few deep breaths. I started doing it here on the blog a while back and it seems like many of you could relate. Thanks for relating.
So, here in no particular order are today's truths:
1.) According to Coach's adolescent development research, human beings need 15 bear hugs a day. 15! I am not getting even close to that. Neither are my employees (I venture to guess). Is it wrong to hug your co-workers? Maybe we should get a hug machine for the office. (add to list)
2.) I feel bad at a lot of things right now.
3.) I am tired, and weary but I'm not worn out. (thank you Jewel)
4.) I think we live in a culture of 'rushing towards' things. Which suggests that we are not where we are supposed to be or that we are missing something where we are. I say walk briskly, but never rush.
5.) I grew that fig! I GREW IT!! (I also ate it. It was delicious.)
6.) Sometimes you have to expect more from people than they expect from themselves. They probably won't like you for it.
7.) I have a good feeling about this.
8.) I sincerely wish there was human -cloning technology. But for adults. I would like to know the keyboard shortcut for that…
9.) Nobody knows what you want or need unless you tell them. This is the first thing we learn as babies. Want something? Cry. (well, don't CRY…. but you know what I mean.)
10.) I have never shied away from a challenge. I have wanted to quit but didn't and I have always been true to myself. 3 points!
That's where I'm at today. How about you?