It has been awhile since I have written here about, well, much of anything besides work. When I first started this blog I found it to be such a needed open space for me to record my thoughts and feelings and document the course of things. Things often move so fast that I would forget to write them down, or record them in some way and this was a really good excuse to stop and give them proper care.
I so enjoyed the community that built up around it and loved sharing and finding my tribe..and then I had kids.
My priorities and list of things to accomplish in a single day/week/month shifted so dramatically that had it been a physical act, it would have resembled a dog running at full speed and reaching the end of a retractable leash. Sad, but kind of funny.
I got clotheslined. But clotheslined in the best possible way…if that makes sense.
My ability to make decisions around what is really necessary do to with my time had never been clearer. My ability to eliminate unnecessary stressors and people and situations from my life became a cinch. Not doing your job? You’re fired. Creating more stress than value? I’m unavailable for that project. Not being loving to my family or my staff? We are all set thanks!
Never in my life have I been less of a waffler. It was awesome. I credit the clarity hormones. Or mama-bear primal instincts or something.
That was the upside. The downside was I left this space for awhile. I kind of left it hanging, which I regret. Not only because there are huge holes in my life-log now, but because I lost touch with a community that I so loved. Sorry.
You’re not fired.
So in the interest of catching you up and laying at your feet a little, I was going through my camera roll looking for a cute photo of me and the kids (now 18 months!)…. after I couldn’t find one of those, I started looking for one with me in it at all….
These are the only ones. period.
Before you give me some sort of “keeping it real” credit for posting gross pictures of myself with a double chin, crying children and a dog that is putting herself up for adoption, don’t. I was looking for a cute one.
I was looking for a photo that would make me and my perfect bookend family look like we had it all pulled together and were delightfully enjoying the slightly un-styled chaos of our lives. I caught myself trying to pull the wool.
But the universe put me quickly in my place. That picture doesn’t even exist. In fact, I am not even IN any of the pictures from the last 18 months. Which is probably best since I am nowhere NEAR back to my pre-pregnancy weight and pretty much never wear makeup or clothes that are not meant for me to do sports in. (Bras got fired too.)
So there’s the update from Mommyville: It’s beautiful. Wish you were here. I’m not in any of the photos.
(also, thanks to Coach for letting me post these photos. I owe you one. xo)