/ September 8, 2011

Looking for Love

Photos © 2011 Curly Girl Design, Inc./Leigh Standley. all rights reserved.

I have recently begun the rather painstaking process of looking on the bright side.

Now, those of you who know me, or have read this blog long enough to know a fair amount about me, might gasp a little or think I am joking. I am generally a pretty glass-half-full kind of person…and that is most certainly the glass that I show the world, but in reality, I realized recently that I have been coming up short in the benefit-of-the-doubt department. More specifically, I have been a little light on love.

This year so far has brought a lot of busyness, a little turmoil, a bunch of stress, a heap of challenge, a few quiet victories and some great projects. Along with some really fun and exciting things, which makes it not unlike most other years for me recently. The thing I started to notice lately is that it was getting to me more. I have a shorter fuse, less tolerance for things I am uninterested in or don't have time for. I was saying (or at least thinking) 'no' first. I felt tired and defensive a little, and have even been carrying this lack of love around on my person as about 17 extra pounds. SEVENTEEN.

When I first started meditating on what was going on with me, and realized that it was a lack of a vital nutrient (love…Vitamin L) I assumed that it was because I was not getting enough of it from others. I thought, it was because I was so far away from my family and best girl friends, or because Coach and I have been so so busy in our lives that we didn't spend enough quality time together, or because relationships and friendships change, and that's just life. I felt shorted. I even felt owed.

Then I opened my freezer.

It was a particularly hot week in Boston, and I was obsessed with making ice cream. You may have read something about that. I opened my freezer to get the basin for the ice cream maker and the cold air felt so good. I, by some instinct, blew air into the ice cube tray to feel a cold blast on my face and it hit me. The cold blast, and the realization that you get back what you put in. Not in theory, but in real and direct proportion.

In our lives, like in our freezers there is only so much molecular space. When I blew my warm air into the freezer it had to get rid of some cold air. I realized then that I was short on love because I was not putting it out there. I was not acting with love, or listening with love or even providing it for myself.  Essentially, I needed to go blow into some freezers.

This was a nice revelation, but I needed to warm up a bit. I needed to remind myself of my core belief that everything you need, you have. Essentially, you will find it, if you are looking for it. (sort of like trouble…) If I wanted to see the love and be able to activate those molecules, I had to be looking for it. So I began the practice of looking for love.

As you may have suspected, it is in fact, everywhere! I took these photos on my recent vacation as sort of an inside joke with myself. It became kind of like buying a car. You know when you are looking at or researching buying a specific vehicle and suddenly that is ALL you see on the road? It has become kind of like that! Only with love and kindness. I see it everywhere! But, I am looking for it…

So, this is a fresh journey for me. I am still working on it. Seeing love is often easier than acting with it or even more difficult, reacting with it, especially when we are stressed in any way. But it is a good start and a much more pleasant molecular point of view. 

Wish me luck!

xoxo

19 responses to “Looking for Love”

  2. What a gorgeous post! One of my fave quotes, from Wayne Dyer, is “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Love seeing how that’s working for you, with love showing up in every nook and cranny. 🙂

  4. I love this post. It’s wonderful confirmation of thoughts I’ve been having lately too.

    I had a similar quest awhile ago for creative inspiration to help me grow my career and feed my soul. That’s when I discovered your blog and Marmalade. Just wanted to thank you for sharing all you do and putting such beautiful things out into the world.

  5. What a great article! You truly do get what you look for in life. Thank you for the reminder.

    I used to do a test with my staff where I had them stop what they were doing and look around the room to see how many blue things they could find. When they were done counting, I would ask them how many yellow things they saw. The response was always; we were not looking for yellow! They found many blue items, but not many yellow. The message…you always see more of what you are focused on. If you focus on stress, it is what you will always find the most around you.

  7. Well said! I hope you receive plenty of positive feedback from this post and you won’t have to look too far for some love. On a side note, my cousin visited Marmalade recently and said it was extremely charming. Staff members included. 🙂 Can’t wait to visit one day myself.

  10. Well… hello there, lovely!  Out of your experiences in looking for love, I’m sure that some brilliant new art and words of truth and wisdom will spring.  Isn’t it great how the universe works?!  Sometimes we just need a reminder of what we already know.  Well shared, Leigh!

  11. leigh: can i just say that not only do a wholeheartedly admire you for putting this out there, but it affirms something in me that only someone as darling as you are able to. it might be the curly hair connection, and as convenient as it may be to think that, i’m certain it’s something deeper.  equally as inviting, but more true, more dedicated, and more related to the concept of looking for and putting out more love into the world.

    it’s unfair to say “i feel the EXACT same way lately” but it’s quite true. like i’m loving it all, it’s all good, life is good, but something is calling to me to pay closer attention. tip towards the positive more often, discover light and life in all of my paths. so big hearted THANKS to you for sharing what’s holding you—-and a million wishes for love on your path ahead. sounds like you’re already finding the source of inspiration on your path and can’t wait to see what else you discover.
    xoxox
    stephanie alaine

  12. beautiful post! i’ve been practicing giving and receiving love (notes/signs, to be exact) over the last year and sharing the experience at LoveYou2.org.  it is simply amazing how often i spy signs of love, even in unusual places.  it makes me smile to think of someone like yourself doing the same thing. thanks for sharing! shannon

  13. Great post Leigh!  I love the way you connected not loving yourself with the 17 extra pounds!  After all, you have to love yourself first before yu can really love outside of yourself (kind of like putting the oxygen bag on yourself first before helping others in an airplane!)  Great insight!!!!

  14. Love your post and your honesty.  My challenge lately is to “be love”.  It is much harder to be love to someone who isn’t particularly love-able… but much more rewarding for us to make that leap.  When we love others without the expectation of getting anything back or because they have done something “love-able”, we really expand our hearts.  Relationships can be forever changed by learning how to properly love someone.

  15. Leigh, I am Lettie of For Giving Works Jewelry…
    your art is in strategic places throughout my home – a piece in almost every room and the most important one in my closet where I can see it every morning as I start my day.  I work out of my house so I spend the day with you…sort of!
    I found your FB page about a week ago and then your blog…I am so thankful for it is an extension of what you have been teaching me through your art.  You make a difference in the way I live my life and continue to inspire me even more through your writing. 
    Thank you Leigh….just thank you!

  16. Hi Leigh,

    I love this post, really, so genuine and such a wonderful message. I have always believed that I should “live love” but sometimes (or a lot)I get so caught up in the busy-ness of life that I forget, especially lately.  Thank you for igniting a spark.  I just found your blog recently and I am really enjoying it. Blessings~

  18. Leigh,

    I can relate to ‘running on empty’ and feeling short on love.  Other people don’t often return love to me the way I would like.  (or even how I feel they should!)  The most helpful thing I found to refill my internal love basket is this passage.

    Eph 3:14-19
    For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
    Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 
    That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 
    That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 
    May be able to comprehend with all saints what [is] the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 
    And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. 

    I desperately need to be strengthened in my inner self.  I have found to fill my love basket is to spend time exploring how God loves me.  God’s love well for you is so deep it will never run dry.  It is an inexhaustible supply of spirit renewal.
    Keep looking for love sources.  I wish you the best.

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