**Caution** This post contains total hormonally-induced honesty.
Here's how it went down:
One week ago, 19 weeks, first ultrasound.
Quick-talking Ultrasound tech: Hey guys, how's it going? (squirt squirt)
Me & Coach: Great! thanks!
Quick-talking Ultrasound tech: This your first? (turns on the monitor, types a few things…)
Me & Coach: Yep. Pretty excited.
Quick-talking Ultrasound tech: So you guys know you're having twins?
Me & Coach: Ha ha! Funny ultrasound joke!!
Quick-talking Ultrasound tech: Nope. I'm serious. There they are….
All I could see on the screen were tiny body parts.
Then I burst into tears.
We have no twins in our families, didn't do any fertility work… only heard one heartbeat many many times!
This week has challenged my emotional range more than any I can ever recall in my now, 36 years.
I will start this by stating the facts. I know this is a blessing. I know that most-likely, everything will be just fine. I know that someday, I will look back on this and be so glad it went down this way. And I do, in earnest, just pray that everyone using my body as an HQ, including myself, stays healthy and happy.
And if one more person says the word “miracle” to me I may end up on the news.
But for the better part of this week I have been terrified. We walked out of that office having everything we thought about our life, changed. We have spent the time since then recalculating, relearning and rerouting. We have had lots of talks, lots of check-ins, a few fits, many sleepless nights and possibly one panic attack. I won't say who It was me.
Deciding that we have had enough surprises for one year, we opted to learn the gender, which was actually one of the highlights of the whole experience. One boy. One girl. Both are healthy so far and good size. We will be a family of four in a matter of months!
My panic is wearing off as the news sits with me, and the babies and I have regular conversations about how nice they are going to be to me when they get here. (I firmly believe in the power of suggestion.) We are working on figuring out what we REALLY need two of, and if I am going to have to give up my beloved Mini Cooper (tear). We have broken the news to Lucy, and though she wouldn't come up in the bed for 4 days, she has now decided to sleep in the giant body pillow with me, which I am taking as a sign of acceptance.
I think the life part is getting easier to imagine, it's the physical part of all this that I am still freaked out about. Can I do this? Will my body still work? Can I keep them in there long enough? How the HECK am I going to deliver? There is a whole lot of unpredictability about it. Unpredictability and I are not super-good friends.
And I am HUGE. Which is all part of the process, I understand, but considerably awkward.
I promise this will be my only whining post. I fully plan on returning to my upbeat optimistic self shortly. I just needed to say out loud that this scares the shit out of me.
In fact, a clever reader posted a comment the other day after sniffing out the multiplicity going on over here asking if we had a nickname for the 'bump'. I jokingly said to Coach: “Yeah, it's “Holy Crap!”
So there you have it! Big news just got bigger! I am soliciting positive vibes, reassuring stories and lots and lots of laundry detergent. Send help! diapers!
Thanks for being out there in this moment!
xoxo
I predict that this news (HUGE congratulations by the way), will only serve to bolster your creativity. If I had to guess, I’d say you are probably looking at life with a different set of eyes now. As a big fan of your work, I can wait to see how your new life will inspire you. 🙂
Nothing but good wishes to you from me. I am sure this is scary, but exciting, too. Your work reflects a natural enthusiasm, a sense of joy and wonder and great appreciation for things that dance into life unexpectedly. I am betting, though we’ve not met, that you will handle this with the grace and charm we see in your work. And, it’s ok to be scared. Best wishes to you!
I echo Jenny!
My (younger by 2 years) brother and sister are twins. The story is that my dad couldn’t speak for 30 minutes after learning he was having twins at the age of 42. He thought he would never be able to retire, pay for college, etc. I’m happy to report he retired on schedule. It’s going to be a blast!
That is some life-changing news to take in… wow!! I had my first child (a boy) 3.5 months ago and while I don’t have personal experience with twins, I just want to say that parenthood is absolutely awesome and the love you’ll feel will constantly astound you. It’s a love that makes possible the things you once couldn’t imagine being able to do. Best wishes to you and your family!
I can’t believe that’s how you found out! Did the ultrasound guy feel bad at all? I just had my first 6 weeks ago and before that I had always wanted twins but now that I’ve had just one, I know how different it would be with two. The good thing for you though is that since this is your first time you won’t know the difference between having one vs having two so it won’t phase you at all. Good luck and keep them in there as long as you can! The hard part comes afterwards! And congratulations!
I totally remember experiencing that day, myself….26 years ago. Oh my goodness! Unless you’ve lived thru it, you really can’t imagine what it does to your heart to hear that you’re having TWO babies! Best of luck to you! Remember to take time to relax and enjoy the miracle of it all!
Congratulations! Your family photos will be extra awesome!
Love You Sis!!! OX
Awwww, It’ll be fine. . . (big hug). Congrats.
Just think of twins as if they are puppies, two can’t be much more trouble than one. . . .
You’ve got the stationery show now, and then the Atlanta Gift Show in July.. . . if you end up on bed rest, or need help during the show, just holler.
Awesome!! You’ll do just fine…. 😀
A friend of mine had triplets. She greatly appreciated the moms of multiples group she found in our area. Look for one near you. And if I can convince you to check them out, try cloth diapers. I love them and have had way less diaper rash since switching. I am sure there are some awesome shops in Boston to help you! We set up an online meal bringing calendar. I can’t remember the website anymore that was great and then friends can bring a meal when it works for them. You will be great!
I love and appreciate your honesty and how healthily you’re working it through. What a great mom you will be!
You are the third person to tell me they are having twins this year. Who knew- the year of the twins! Congrats! You will do and be awesome. Sending many positive vibes …. And if you post the address to your shop I will gladly send diapers too! 😀
Reminds me…girl-friend walks into studio, plops on chair, hands covering her face as she is laughing/crying and says to me…I’m pregnant! (shocking news because her daughter was just 6-months old)…her hands move off her face…with TWINS! (gasp!)…her hands fly to the air…and she then tells me she asks her doc “are they both staying?!? we don’t have twins in our family!”…I busted out laughing and crying with her as she described the look on her doc’s face!
Double the material/inspiration for your art…I can’t wait to watch!
I have two sets of twins, both spontaneous sets, and found out the EXACT same way!!!! It will be AMAZING!!!!
We are here for you! We, as in the whole fan club in Belmont and Curly Gril nation! If anyone can do this, you two can!
i think you should make an image of yours using the phrases “using my body as HQ”, and possibly ‘recalculating, relearning, and rerouting’; they resonated with me from this post. congrats and good luck!
Congratulations! You have permission to give a good kick in the shin to anyone who says anything stressful, especially the “m” word—as well as all of those ‘well-meaning’ strangers who think it’s okay to rub your belly in the grocery store. :^) You also have permission to have every emotion known to pregnant woman! (All at once, if need be!) I will add two words of advice to the myriad you’ve no doubt been receiving: Pregnancy Massage! (Wish you were in MN so I could give you one! Please email me if you’d like help in finding someone good in your area.) Sending tons of supportive vibes your way!
“I think we’re going to need a bigger boat”
Enjoy the ride!
I couldn’t even imagine the emotions you’re going though.. and you described them so eloquently!
Whoop! All I can say as a mother of two boys born 4.5 years apart… put on your seat belt enjoy the ride!
Congratulations on one of each!
Michelle
Leigh,
You will be awesome. The body is pretty darned clever and a miracle in itself. It is designed to carry and birth babies. I’ve got an awesome birth reading list a mile long if you need any real suggestions (gawd stay away from the WTE variety!)….and while I’ve not birthed any babies for a long time now if I had a willing participant would have kept at it until my body said “NO!” thank goodness I stopped when I did because then I would never have found this wonderful fun little gift shop to run in New London, NH. Fear not. Breathe. Your body knows exactly what to do. Don’t let fear block it. Babies know how to be born.
Congrats to you and Coach.
Amy
Congratulations on your “bigger news”! As I firmly believe, God only gives us what we can handle. I always enjoy reading your blog – and today it was extra, extra special. Look at the bright side (although I’d say having a baby(ies) is the bright side) you don’t have to decide between your favorite name for each gender AND think about how many awesome new baby(ies) cards this will inspire! Lastly, as a child of the ‘90s, may I recommend to you watching Full House episodes when you’re “resting”. The ones when Becky was pregnant with the twins. (season 5…I think)Happy Twins!! All the best to you!
Congrats! So love your honesty – it inspires me for the challenges we all face. Could insert here so many, many platitudes. The only one that really seems to fit, All shall be well. All, shall be well.
Best wishes on this amazing (roller coaster), an…journey.
Linda
Hi Leigh! I am a big fan of your work and just recently found your blog. Although I don’t know much about you, I do know a LOT about having twins unexpectantly.
My girls are now 3.5 years old, so we are getting to a really good place with them. I have to say though, it is really difficult the first few years. My husband and I were NOT trying to get pregnant, especially with twins! When we found out, I bawled and my husband almost passed out. The doctor even left the room to give us a few minutes to ourselves. It was a HUGE shock, and we were terrified.
We prepared ourselves as best we could, buying all the things we needed and reading tons of books. However, you can never be truly prepared for the craziness that happens when those two babies come home. What I can tell you is YOU CAN DO IT!! It helps to have a system in place before the babes come and be super organized, and then it’s just one day at a time after that. Also, if you have help available take it!! Between my mom and my husband’s parents we had 24 hour help for the first 6 weeks, and it was the BEST thing for me and my girls.
I would suggest looking for a multiples group in your area as they will be a huge support AND they will have resources. My group did a “meal train” and provided dinner every other night for 2 weeks. Super helpful! Also they have lots of suggestions for multiples books, nursing pillows, car seats and strollers, etc.
I know it’s shocking at first, but just remember that YOU ARE STRONG and YOU CAN DO THIS!! Through all the stress, it really is the best thing in the world that could have happened in my life and I wouldn’t give up one single second of it. Good luck to you!!
Just found your blog the last little while and have been enjoying your quirkyness and perspective on life.
2 words “everyday abundance”. Be careful what you ask for! 🙂 Many blessings to you and your ever expanding family.
My sister and brother-in-law went through this also, leaving me a voice mail message saying they heard the “heartbeatS”…with the emphasis on the plural. Big advantages is their family came along complete in 1 round. They were never outnumbered (1 kid/parent). Tremendous support and love from both families made this all easier and I can honestly say the twins her a true joy in our lives. They’re like my own kids even and they’re the best behaved children-we all think they got together while in the womb and decided since the parents were getting a 2 for 1 deal that they’d always behave.
Wow! That is awesome! Instant family & one of each! Getting it over in one go. (Unless of course you want more than two) I am sure between the two of you & all the advise from lots of helpful people, you will come through this with flying colours! I wish you nothing but the best & am sending you positive thoughts! xo : )
Well Congratulations x 2 = More love than you could ever imagine!
Congratulations! I appreciate your honesty. I’m tired of hearing that life is great, best foot forward blah, blah blah. I think I would be scared too. I had what people call ’ Irish Twins’ I had 2 under 15 months. THAT was hard. My first wasn’t even walking when my second came home. I would say to you, sleep when you can, both before and after. Do your grocery shopping online and have it delivered if possible. (I’m in Ireland and that was one of my saving graces) Take offers of meals. All of them. If you have any offer to help with feeds through the night, take them. If you are a perfectionist within the home, try and start letting go of the tight rein a little. I found it a huge shock that I couldn’t keep up with ’ the perfect ’ looking home. I felt like I wasn’t capable anymore and I had failed. “Why couldn’t I keep up, didn’t my mother do it with 3 small ones with no effort?”. Go at your own pace. Delegate and learn to say “yes” to offers of help.
Wishing you lots of love and positive vibes. You will be tired but the love you will feel, is a love that you have never know the likes of before.
So, I recently found out that I am pregnant, and I can only imagine the surprise/shock that you are in with the news that you are having two babies, when your really just trying to wrap your mind around the fact that you are having one. I would keep the mini as long as the infant car seats fit. They should if you have four doors. Mine is a two door, and they don’t fit easily, but the bigger (for when they are a little older) car seats do. My nephew loves riding in Minikins:) Good Luck! I’m sure everything will be great!
Huge congrats! I just had boy/girl twins 3.5 months ago and while it has been a whirlwind few months and I have definitely had some rough days, I am happy to report that its been awesome! They already share such a beautiful bond. I am in the Boston area so if you ever need a twin mom for some help, commiserating, alcohol, etc please feel free to let me know!
Congratulations! I had the same experience 20 years ago. I told the ultrasound tech to clear the screen from her last patient and she laughed at me. I didn’t know how my body would handle twins but I did. Greatest experience but scary too! Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it and enjoy!!!
my mum had twins at 42 having already had three older kids. ive gotta say twins in the family are so much fun! definitely get two bouncy chairs and lots of dummies and your sense of humour will keep you sane 🙂 congrats!
Congratulations Leigh! I’m a twin and it is the best! My sister and I have been best friends our whole lives! Sure its twice as many diapers, but my mom says that actually many times we were easier than our siblings because we always had each other. When we woke up scared in the middle of the night, we would calm each other instead of running into our parents’ room! Besides, who doesn’t love cute matching outfits?!
Leigh, I can see an awesome card coming out of “Unpredictability and I are not super-good friends.” Sending smiles & positive vibes your way. Lynn
Wow! That’s big news x2! I’ve only met you in person one time but I feel certain enough to say that your children are going to be so fortunate to grow up with such a loving, vibrant, creative, authentic mother. Enjoy the ride—all four of you!
Leigh! Oh, I can only imagine the shock! YOU can do this…and thanks for taking us along on the ride!
My grandfather was an identical twin and I just *knew* we would have twins. Nope. Red hair runs in our family, too and we missed that as well. I’m thinking you might pop out two redheads. 😉
Three words: TAKE IT EASY. I know pregnant ladies can do it all, but REST NOW. You’ll look back on it longingly.
Congratulations! I love twins 🙂 they are wonderful! They are close and live each other and even though everyone else thinks they look the same they have their own looks- it wonderful! You can do it! Children are great and twins are so cute. I’m pregnant with my third baby 18 weeks now I know how you feel. Your going to be fine and it will all come naturally to you. Yay- babies just think you don’t have to have anymore because you already have two! They will always have someone to play with 🙂 wishing you a positive experience.
Awesome! Can’t believe your word is plenty!!!!!
This post alone shows you’ll be okay. Real, messy, and okay!
Okay…have been following you from STL for …well since a really long time. I am obsessed with your cards. Am really excited about the babies but can’t wait to see the creativity the babies and being a mom will bring out in your work! Congtrats Leigh, you will be an awesome mom!
Hey Leigh! Oh my gosh, I cannot imagine the shock!
If it is any comfort, my youngest brother and sister are twins, and were an unplanned “surprise” to boot. My mom ended up with 4 kids in 4 years and 2 months. They call each other “womb buddies.” They ended up at the same college (without discussing the decision until after they had both finalized it) and on the same hallway of the dorm by chance. When my sister needed my brother for a history fact check or whatever, she would just open the door and yell down the hall “Greg!” And he would yell back, “Diney? What?” My parents did not know/expect it when they got pregnant, but finances and careers all worked out absolutely fine in the future. The twins are super smart, fun, interesting, and fabulous. No one can imagine our family without both of them.
My mom has always said that twins are great in a way: you do high chairs, then can get rid of high chairs. You do diapers, then are done with diapers. Plus they always have a playmate!
One piece of advice she gives people is to try to remember to take pictures of each child separately, as well as ones together. She said she never thought much about it, but for the 8th grade graduation slideshow, she mainly had pictures of both babies and not many individual ones for the “guess who this baby turned out to be” sequences!
Okay, I hope you are feeling better and getting plenty of encouragement and support!! You can do it! You will figure out how to do things with two babies just like you would have figured them out with one! And now you are perfectly set up for those “family of four packs” at baseball games and amusement parks!! 🙂 And for your own Brenda and Brandon, 90210 style!
Sending tons of love and support and peaceful thoughts. It will all be okay! If I can do anything to help or your need more encouragement, happy to help in any small way I can! 🙂
Wowza! It seems that all of the feelings that you are having are quite normal. It will just take some readjustment in your thinking.
You really do have what it takes to be a good Mom, you just have not had the opportunity until now to use all of these skills!
Being a parent is the best job, the worst job and everything in between! I have been a Mom for 29 years now and would do it ALL over again in a heartbeat (or two!)
You are in for the adventure of a lifetime and you have so many wonderful family members and friends to help you and give you advice, whether you want it or not!
Looking forward to seeing you in New York!
Take care
Kathy
All I can say is Oh my goodness! Hope to see you in NY! peggy @ pickle papers
Oh Leigh!
When I read this post I was laughing AND crying for you! :‘o) What a shock that must’ve been! I really hope I didn’t make you cry by asking if something bigger was up!!! :/ Especially when you hadn’t really had a chance to process all that new information!!! That being said, I am so very happy & excited for you both!!! I have every confidence that you will do/be just fine. I think that God must’ve looked down on you and saw how loving, kind and good you are and thought to himself “We need more of these kind in the world” so he doubled your blessings!! In this, your year of “Plenty” I wish you plenty of everything you need. Prayers, sleep, help, peace, confidence. You already have the love down pat!! <3 I know you can do this and you have many,many readers out there pulling for you & wishing you only good things. Hang in there Curly Girl!! All will be well.
Tami
Leigh, while I cannot know what twins are like, I am sure you will bring to mom-of-twins the same wonderful you bring to everything else. All the best! molly
ah! you made me laugh and cry all at the same time! my brother has boy/girl twins and they are an amazing family. a complete package. you will love being a mom, and you body will do what it wants to. don’t worry about it. keep your eye on the prize girl! can’t wait to see you in person in a few weeks!
drea ( and the lusso girls)
Holy cow!!! Curly Girl babies!!!
You know I’m serious if I use exclamation points!!! I’m so happy for you, and although I’m sure you’re completely freaked out—rightly so—you’re headed for such and incredible adventure. Congrats to you and your family!
Leigh: Big (Double) Congratulations!
I am so happy for you and hubby…just
think of all the new card designs that
are going to be coming our way now! ha
or should I say ha ha! Enjoy your ‘quiet’
time together now.
Jackie & Sara
valleyGirl
Leigh, Why am I not even a bit surprised that you will be the Mom of twins?! Everything you do is creative to the max…. why should baby making be garden variety, one at a time? Seriously, your posts about pregnancy have been hilarious (easy for me to say, right?) and joyful. I second the comments about your next stage of creativity… you’re bound to be even more influenced by family time. Hope everything goes well for you, and that summertime isn’t too hot in Belmont. Miss it, and you! ox
awesome….you guys did it well!! totally awesome!
Leigh I too am a big fan of your work…have purchased many, many, cards. I am a mother of two…now grown, boys, not twins. I teach maternity nursing and my students have followed the blog of a pretty well known photojournalist, Ben Garvin in St. Paul, MN. Ben and Jessica have two little boys…and then quite by surprise got pregnant a third time with twin girls. They have a blog…..go to Ben’s site: http://www.bengarvin.com and then on the right there is a section for family blog. If you dial it back to August of 2010, it is right before Jessica gave birth and then the babies were born right a little before term, but not much…..were breastfed for a long time and now are about to be 3 in the fall. Following her last weeks of pregnancy and early ‘babyhood” with multiples may provide you some inspiration and peace of mind. I am a nurse-midwife and you can go to term….have big healthy babies….deliver vaginally and have some fun, too. Jessica and Ben are great parents, laid back….and like you, tell it like it is. I think you would be kindred blog friends. So, do look them up….and congradulations on your healthy pregnancy, your babies and this next chapter in your life….I bet that mini will hold another! Helen