On Vulnerability.


It’s funny how the universe works. Rather, how those invisible, yet highly tuned invisible connections that we have with one another operate so deftly.

Recently I have been struggling a bit with a couple of variations of courage, authenticity and vulnerability in a couple different sectors of my life.

I have been working out the things that come up for me around taking a big risk with my business. Staring the ‘unknown’ in the face and seeing which of us blinks first. I have been here before. I will be here again. And we will do the dance all over again.

I am also dealing with the tandem issue of having my judgment challenged. Or rather, worried about.

You see, as a risk-taker by nature, (not a thrill-seeker, that’s different) I have surrounded myself with worriers. Some by choice, some by birth. They are actually a very important part of the balance of my life. I have built them into my business, my marriage, and (though I can’t take credit for this) my family. In essence, I have bumpers on. I have a naysayer around every corner. I am built to say “YES! Let’s do it!” and they will naturally, well, worry about it. This works out most of the time. And most of the time, I do what I want anyway but with a healthy dose of possible ways it could go terribly wrong.

This is a great system for me in business, and when navigating relationships in a lot of ways, but I am realizing recently, that it is not great on a personal level. On a personal level, it often reads as disconnection. Now, I do something pretty personal for a living, and even as I write this, I am putting a LOT out there in the way of my thoughts, and feelings and opinions on things. I welcome feedback, and try to encourage conversation. I crave the connections between all of us.

This, I discovered, is nerve-racking for my worriers.

I am currently being confronted with the issue of how to be authentic and vulnerable in a way that inspires connection, while protecting yourself from all the terrible things that could happen when you do that. The only answer to that that I can come up with is that… you can’t.

Which is inconvenient, since it’s sort of the foundation of my life’s work.

You can see the kind of pickle I’m in.

Enter the universe. Yesterday, as I am hashing this out in full self-righteous Taurus mode, I get an email from my darling friend Cate a million miles away in Guatemala, asking me if I had seen this video of Dr. Brene Brown. I had in fact seen it many months ago, been so taken by it that I immediately bought all of her books and fully intended on being a full-on devotee of hers…until I got too busy for that. But at the very moment I needed to be reminded of her, unknowingly, Cate did just that.

So, this oh-so-well-timed reminder, and incredible lecture brought home to me exactly what I knew in my gut and my heart.

That I am always right. (remember, I’m a Taurus.)

No, but in a way, I am. If we are operating from a place of vulnerability and authenticity and we have the courage to be imperfect, right (in this case, meaning whole, or in entirety) will find us. Connection will find us. And that is what we are all after.

So, PLEASE do yourself a favor and take 20 minutes out of your day to watch this video. Then look up Brene’s other talks and books. She is a brilliant mind, a visionary and an excellent storyteller.

Let’s talk about it! What do you think?

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